There is a time to let it go

So yesterday was kinda like any other day, sitting at work thinking about my boys. Well I was inspired to write a blog about how far God has brought me with the trust issues I had when I had given birth to Caleb. See let me start this off with saying when Caleb was first born I was so happy God had blessed us with a child but then when Caleb was born I got scared, and that May was baby dedication and I was not sure I wanted to go through with it. See baby dedication for me was not just about bringing up my child to grow such love and faith in God, it was about turning him back over to the creator who created him. And quite frankly that thought scared me, even though in my heart I knew he was already His, I just did not turn my full heart over to Him. Well I think it was the Friday before baby dedication and I was driving home and felt like 50 tons of weight was just lifted off my shoulders and I knew that I was now at peace and ready to dedicate Caleb to the Lord!

So I tell you all of this because I had started writing my blog about how far He brought me and has showed Himself so glorious through a lot of situations that Caleb has been through and God has always reassured me that He was in control! Well I took a break and that is when I got this phone call from Josh’s dad. He had told me in a very calm voice that Caleb had cut his cheek on a piece of metal tin roofing and Nana had rushed him to the ER. I tried not to get too panicked because I did not know how bad it really was. Well I had that peace that God was taking care of everything and that I was inspired by all of those things I wrote up top about because He wanted to remind me of how much in control of all the situations and that He was in control of this one as well, and was holding tight onto my little man. Is that not just amazing what God can show and do for us!

Ok so now I am going to brag alittle bit about Caleb, yes I know me brag…never J Well right after Caleb had ran into the roofing he came running to the back door, holding his cheek and crying. Taylor answered the door and as soon as Caleb walked in Pop saw that he was bleeding and about that time Nana walked in and saw what had happened to his face and scooped him up in true mother form J and took him to the back and put a towel on his face and had him sit in the chair to get the truck ready. Well by the time he got to the chair he had already stopped crying and did not cry really at all since then. Well being that Nana is a mother did not spare any red lights and rushed to the hospital, she even told me that Caleb got onto her for running one of the red lights J When we arrived at the hospital they took him back fairly quickly and then it was just a waiting game. They started to prep him for the plastic surgeon to come and stitch him up, now how is it that my 4 year old son got to see a plastic surgeon before I did, just kidding J And they had to take the bandage off his face and that was the first time he actually started to cry a bit! That was also where I saw how bad the cut was, if you can even call it that (yeah it was that bad!!) and there I kinda went into panic mode and started to shake A LOT! So I started to do my Lamaze breathing exercises (oh now they came in handyJ) and calmed myself down abit. They came in with the stuff to put an IV in and the first time he cried for a minute but the second one they put in he just sat there and watched them!! and did not cry at all. He had all the nurses amazed throughout our time there, several nurses would come in to see him and said what an inspiration he was because he was so calm and did not cry! That will make a mama proud! Now there were about to put in the medicine to make him loopy, I think they called it truth serum(it had some fancy name but I do not remember that one) and said that he will say some crazy things and not remember it. And that was so the case at one point he told Josh that he was Jesus, told Josh he had green teeth and should brush them like he brushes his, and that he had three eyes. Made us tickle! Caleb is an awful lot like his daddy and is very curious and he kept trying to watch what the doctor was doing to his face, the doctor was just so patient with him and would chuckle at him being so curious. Oh I need to say this real quick, Josh in true Josh form manages to always find a way to put a smile on everyone’s face and makes sure I am mortified passed gas halfway through the surgery. Man I love that man J Soon after his doctor finished Caleb had a visitor from someone he knew, it was Bro. James, he came to check on him and prayed with us before we left. Want to hear something awesome the nurse in the room with us stood with us held Caleb’s hand and prayed with us!! God is just such an awesome God!! Well we my little moneymaker face all fix up and by this time it was 8:30 and Caleb was very hungry, poor thing had not had lunch nor dinner yet. So we went to Chica-fila-a and he ate all of his nuggets, fries and some ice cream and the last part of his daddy’s!! We went home and tried to put some minds at ease, and had just wish that Taylor was awake to see his bubba, because he was worried about him all day and asked about him a lot! We are so thankful for the people in our life. Josh’s mom did a great job of taking care of my little man and holding things together, Pop took great care of Taylor while we were at the hospital, for my mom and dad who I know were lifting him up in prayers. And for our awesome church family who said a special prayer for him last night before supper. Now I have to put my faith in God as Caleb will have to have some more blood test ran to find the cause of the fevers he has been getting at least every 3 weeks. So if you could please continue to lift him in your prayers, as we seek a specialist in Memphis. One thing is for sure I know he is in the hands of the greatest physician!!

"This is taking WAY to long"

I just wanted to share alittle about my week/end, share a couple of stories. I got to go visit my hometown, now I used to actually say my home instead of hometown and sometimes I slip and say it but before it was because that is where my heart still was. Well the Lord got a hold of my heart and made me realize that my home is wherever my husband and kids are and I don’t mind too much where that is as long as I have them.

Ok so sorry about that back to my trip. We started our trip on Sat. and as any of you know that kids don’t like to be in the car for too long, what does that really shock you J Well Caleb is my really good traveler but now he inquires about how much longer it might be till we get to where we are going. Well we were about in Ozark and

Caleb asked “Mommy can we just turn around and go home?”

I said “Don’t you want to go to Disneyworld?”

“Well I do mommy but this is just taking WAAAYYY too long!” J

Man Josh’s mom and I laughed and laughed. Well God challenged me to think about the very same pharse that Caleb had asked me about how much longer it might take and I am so thankful that my boys challenge me to think about my relationship with God. And I thought about how many times I ask “how much longer till we get there” and Him saying to me “Don’t you want the blessings I have for you along the way” or “Just be patient I have something planned” and me being that stubborn little child of His and say “this is just taking WAY to long Lord” All I can say was WHOA! In my life there are far too many instances that I do that God has already told me in Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I can tell you that this is applying to my life right now and with our house, but I have gotten such a peace about it and I hope I can continue to have that peace in Him that I know he supplies!

Well since we are on the subject of driving let me tell you what else that little stinker said about me. First let me tell you that I did get alittle turned around when coming back home twice, the last one being at night. (Please keep all laughter in a minimumJ) So on Wed. night before they went to bed they said alittle prayer for me to drive home safely. On Thursday morning Josh’s mom told Caleb that I had made it home safely and Caleb responded “So my mommy got lost didn’t she?” Josh mom a bit confused said “why yes Caleb she did” he responded by saying “yeah mommy gets lost when she drives at night” J

Alittle about my trip and weekend after my trip was really great. I got to spend almost the entire Sunday afternoon with my parents and I have not got to do that in a really long time, it was much needed. I really enjoyed my visit with my sissy it was just good to spend quality time together and not have to be rushed to do anything and we got to catch on A LOT of things that sometimes you just can’t get across over the phone. On one funny thing that happened we were at Hobby Lobby and she saw her friends’ mom and they got to talk and catch up and then she (the mom) looked over at me and said “Is this your mom”. All I could do was laugh that was just so funny to me. I felt so honored that she would think that I might look anything like Leah to be her mom J I got to go and be with her family while they had some pictures taken and I had such a great time. They are such an awesome family and always make me feel just like one of them.

I must say that one of my favorite parts of that week was that I got to come home and spend some wonderful one on one time with my hubby. I can not remember the last time I got to spend that much time with just him, no kids for a couple of days. I mean we really missed our kids but we also really loved the time we got to spend and reconnect with each other. I appreciate so much what Josh does for our family and we don’t get to talk about it with kids grabbing for our attention (which we don’t mind at all). We got to go on a couple of really awesome dates. Our time just made love him just that much more J

The kids had a really great time at Disney. Caleb actually could ride almost all the rides they went on. Taylor wasn’t quite tall enough yet but he just enjoyed being there. From what I hear their favorite day was the Magic Kingdom, there was so much for them to do there. They really both enjoyed getting to know their cousins and just spending time with their family. Josh’s mom said their favorite part was probably the pool, is that not how it usually works they like the part that is not even part of what you went to do, but as long as they had fun right? J I can't wait till we will be able to take them down there and we can all be able to have that much fun together as a family! We are so glad the boys are back, the house was just too quiet without them in it and they came back in full force and I would not have it any other way!

Say alittle prayer

You know that some of the best prayers are the ones that come from the heart. Hearing a child pray puts so much JOY in my heart, hearing my boys pray makes that JOY so much more . Well Caleb usually prays for our food at any meal time, well a couple of weeks ago Taylor got into praying, and it doesn't have a lot of words to it but it does have an AMEN at the end. Well we were at dinner and Taylor wanted to say the prayer so his little prayer went like this "ank you esus, food…something…something, cow poop AMEN!!! I asked did he really just pray for cow poop, then Josh’s mom brought to our attention that she had cooked that night and wondered if that was meant for her food J It is the small prayers that mean so much J Last night was another night that just made my heart melt. Caleb was saying the prayer and usually he just says “Thank you Jesus for our food, Amen”. Which is fine because he is praying, but I won’t lie and say there are not days that I didn't wish that he would just bust out in prayer. Well last night was his night he prayed “Thank you Jesus for this beautiful day, thank you for letting mommy and daddy have a good day, thank you for our food, and thank you for mommy and daddy getting home safely, Amen” Yep that did it, I teared up at the table, that prayer was so heart felt made this mama feel so joyous inside. Well Taylor now copies EVERYTHING Caleb does now, so he wanted to pray next, his went alittle like this(note I can not make all the jibberish sounds he makes nor am I able to write them J) "Jibber, jibber esus, jibber, jibber mommy, daddy. AMEN!! Moments like this let me reflect in my own prayer life to see if I am praying for the “little” things just like my boys seem to see that is really important to them.

~~In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy~~Philippians 1:4

Reality check

Have you ever felt like you really just need to be slapped into reality sometimes! Well let me tell you today I feel like it is what I needed and it is just what happened! I occasionally I go to this site proverbs31.org to read and offer me some encouragement throughout my day! Well like I said I don’t go all the time but I did this morning and the devotion was what I needed to really hear! All I could say is WOAH!! How true I find that in my own life right now, I feel (now please see that I am saying I feel) like I have gotten pretty good in the ministry God has placed me in but just like she said I feel like I need to be patted on the back every now and then sometimes I did not ask for God to be there! How horrible does that sound! Well my really big insecurity I have is with me and Facebook and even this blog. I would just want someone to say how much they loved or miss me, or that my writing just really touched them or to comment on my pictures that I post of my super adorable kids (I mean really how could you not J). How selfish and self absorbed is that. I felt so ashamed with how I felt after reading that devotional this morning, but there is one thing that helps me bring my head back up and that is turning to my Savior the one who I should have turned to all along, He is one who always leaves comments for me and tells me He loves me and that the serving I do is for Him and that is all I should need and if someone just happens to say your doing a great job, say thank you and don’t fret about the next person who comes along. He also showed me that what I have really been feeling is loneliness I have pushed him around by things…by people, and I wonder why I feel so lonely. He wants to be first and He needs to be first in my life and I find that when I allow that to happen I am fill with such JOY and I don’t feel empty. Funny what alittle slap in the face can do J But let him who boasts boast about this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight, declares the Lord.~~Jeremiah 9:24

The Mini Adventures of Caleb the brave

Deep in the woods of Eegeebeegee there lived a boy named Caleb, he lived under the name Gregory well because that was his parents’ name. One sunny yet chilly afternoon Caleb decided that he was going to go on alittle adventure some may think he would take his mother along but not today, today he decided to take this one on his own. So he went down the stairs sat on the bottom stair and put on his shoes and opened the door and started his long adventure into the Eegeebeegee woods. He saw some truck tracks and thought that they may lead to where he was wanting to go, which was to where his daddy, Pop and Uncle were. And they were down into the woods quite a ways building a bridge of sorts across Caleb’s Crossing. So along trucked Caleb quite a brave little guy enjoy the sun on his face, the chill in the air, the birds singing until he looked down and noticed that the tracks were no longer there. Well he did what any little adventure boy would do in the woods… he hollered for his daddy. Luckily for him his daddy was near by to hear him and went and scooped him up. Well he joined Pop and Uncle, and Pop asked the little fellow how he had gotten down there he said I followed the truck tracks but I put my shoes on the right feet!! He was such a proud little boy not for taking on such a journey into some woods but for putting his shoes on the right feet :0) I love that boy!

My heart hurts

When my brother was younger, around 6 or 7, he started saying that his heart hurt, there was a pain in his chest. So after many doctors visits and scans of some sort, we found out that it was just him growing, a growth spurt. Well now my heart hurts, but it does hurt like his did, I think mine is because I am “growing” spiritually and sometimes that hurts. Not because of what God is doing (because that has been awesome) but because of what I have done or how I am feeling. Have you ever just felt torn about how you should feel…Be strong, God wants us to be strong, it is ok to cry, don’t let things get to you, be sensitive, the list could go on! But sometimes I just want to go AHHH!!!! I don’t how I should feel right now, and that just makes my heart hurt. But on my way to work today me and God were having our usual morning talk and I was talking to Him about all of my feelings and I would just like to share a few things I feel like He told me about all the things I am feeling. Be strong- The LORD is my strength and my song~~ Exodus 15:2a I know that I don’t have to always be strong, lets face it I can’t be strong all the time but I do know that the Lord gives me my strength and when I think I can’t keep going, He always provides a way for me to find strength…it is called prayer. In Matthew 14:23 Jesus was done with the day and went to the mountain to pray. Jesus had just dealt with His dear friend John the Baptist being beheaded, healed the sick, and fed the 5000(men, not including the women and children) so I think He needed some strength and guidance which is why He went to pray. That is where I should be, I need strength and guidance and I am only going to get that from one, My Lord. Now I don’t think that it is the amount of time I spend with Him but what I discover while I am there with Him. It is ok to cry-The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer~~Psalm 6:9 Boy am I glad that someone will always listen to my cries, cause I tend to do that quite often. And here it says that He hears my cries. I feel fortunate to have a loving…patient husband who listens to me when I need someone to talk to but God is always listening to me waiting for me to cry out for Him. Be sensitive- Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience~~Colossians 3:12 I think we should keep our ears open to those who need to share and who need comfort, whether they know God are not. And to show compassion to those who are in need, cause there may come a time when I will need someone to be sensitive and have compassion for me. One of my favorite songs right now is by JJ Heller called “Your hands”, the chorus says “When my world is shaking, heaven stands, When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands.” Man those words just about bring me to tears, who am I kidding they do bring me to tears, cause I need to tell myself quite often how Heaven will always stand no matter what is going on in my world and how I need my Lord when my heart breaks and how He will hold my hand through everything! Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before~~Philippians 3:13 I really do not have anything to go with this verse but am thinking that this is really what I should aim for not to let the things that are behind me hinder me from attaining the joy that God has for before me! Don’t give up-Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up~~Galations 6:9 What is kinda funny about this verse is because the next verse is one of my favorite verses talking about when we have opportunity we should do good, well this past Sunday at church our pastor was talking about verse 9 and how even though we are going through tough times we should never give up. I had actually told my husband that I was not giving up I was just simply sitting on the bench, you know a benchwarmer. So God has really convicted me of that so now I am back in the game, so to speak. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.~~Romans 15:13

you like me you really like me!

Words really can not express how grateful I am that Emily would think that I deserve this award. It tickles me pink :) She is actually one of the people who inspired me to start my own along with my wonderful hubby! Here is a link to her blog at Speaking the Truth in Love and Laughter she is a gifted writer, God has really blessed her with that gift and she uses it! I am so thankful for my Lord who is the true inspiration behind all my writings and has been the one to hold my hand through these past 7 months, and to my husband who truly encourages me to be a better wife, mother and a child of God! I also thank my wonderful pride and joys for they are the sunshine to the end of my days. Do I sound way to sappy yet, I could go on if you like :) The rules are that now I need to nominate other girlfriends who I feel deserve this same honor.Alright girls, if you haven’t won this award yet and should you choose to accept it, these are the instructions: - Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post. - Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude. - Link the nominees within your post. - Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog. - Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award. Well I tend to be a rule breaker at times and I have also nominated a man...gasp... One that I have nominated is a great mentor to me, she has gone through some tough times but still shows the love of Jesus. I really do not know Emily or Chuck who I also nominated but I have stumbled upon their blogs and I enjoy reading them and think you will also. Patti at Ain't Love Grand

Emily at Live, Laugh, Love

Carol Wilson Updates this blog was started by his wife who wrote about her journey through cancer, she was now went to be with our Father but her husband still write some amazing post that are truly encouraging! And just because I do love to read when he gets a chance to blog I want to plug in my husbands blog, he also has a great talent for writing and you should check out his past blogs here. Thank you all who read my blog on a few occasions :)

My superheros!

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.~~Psalm 127:3(NAS) Man I love this verse, it is exactly how I feel about my kids, granted there are days that they do drive me crazy but I will take it. This past year I have come to realize that my boys are so strong, and as a mom you just want them to need you always. Which they will always need me but they are starting to separate alittle. Anyways I say all this cause I wanted to, well I guess you can say brag a bit about them and how well I believe they did when they both had to be admitted into the hospital this year! Taylor was admitted in May, he had pneumonia and we tried to take care of it at home but it just would not go away. So the doctor thought it would be best if we went ahead and admitted him. Man I so did not want to be there for when they put the IV in, so Josh was there and he went in for that. Well all was well, then it happened, the nurse walked in and said that they need more blood. I was like WHAT?? Umm can’t we wait till my hubby gets here, nope we need it now. Ok so I went in there after the nurse asked if I would prefer to wait outside, are you kidding, no I am not leaving my child but I guess she has to ask. But he did so well, they had to board his arm but he did not once try to yank his other arm that they were getting the blood from, I was so proud. I just kept thinking, man I can’t even do that! J Oh he was so funny because when we were going to the doctor’s office for like 3 days in a row, the nurse had to give him a shot of antibiotic and the next time we went in there, as soon as she walked in he would start crying, well he also did the same thing when we were at the hospital, if a nurse walked in to just check his vitals he would start tearing up and cry L Poor thing He also got me in trouble, he was really confined to his bed but when he actually started feeling better, he wanted to get down and walk around. Well this kinda made me nervous but I decided to give it a try, well I turned my back just to get a diaper and his IV thing starts beeping, I was like AHHH. He had pulled his IV out, not from his arm but where is was connected. The nurse came in and told me I needed to keep a better eye on him. I just looked at Taylor and said you got mommy in trouble! It was funny. He showed me so much strength at just 18 months old. Well now you all know that Caleb just recently had surgery and man was he such a testimony to me. When I really think about a strong and brave child, I really do think of him. When I got there he was sitting on the bed playing my DS, when all the people came in too explain what was going to happen Caleb never asked why he just said ok. Now some people may say that he just didn’t understand but I know he did, cause when we asked him what was going to happen he would tell us that they we going to cut that thing out of his throat. Well his doctor saw that he liked spiderman, heck I mean he had on a spiderman shirt, shoes and underwear J So he asked Caleb if he would like a web on his hand, so that it looked like he was shooting it out. Caleb just loved that. Well instead of wheeling him out on the bed into surgery, Dr.Dye actually picked him up and carried him back there, man did that put my mind at ease. All the nurses talked about what a great boy he was and how well he did. We went and waited in his room and they wheeled him in, he was alittle disoriented at first and kinda stayed in a fog all day. He had a few visitors, ate alittle. He was funny actually, he got a toy from his happy meal and it was one of the chipmunks and when you pressed his head it would say something. Well Caleb who always tries to make sure we are smiling kept pressing it to make us laugh! Well then it was time for bed and Caleb had figured out how to change the channels on the TV and was flipping through them and found a football game, Caleb said ohh football and yall we watched football for an hour! Well I told Caleb I was going to bed and he wanted me to sleep in the bed with him, and I was happy to do that. So I turned over and I felt this scratch on my back, I turned around and it was Caleb scratching my back, he said “mommy you had a rough day” I said “I had a rough day, you had the rough day”. But that made me feel special beyond words! Oh I also wanted to tell you the story we told Caleb to make his trip kinda like an adventure. We said that he was going to stay at a castle (hospital) and that sometime ago he had swallowed a poisonous apple (his cyst) and that it was going to put him into a deep sleep and prince Dye (his doctor) was going to cut it out, then a princess (yep that’s me J) would come give him a kiss to wake him up. He loved that, it kinda helped him out a bit! Well my superheros save me just about everyday when I come home from a hard day of work without them, they come to me with hugs and kisses!